THE FORGIVENESS

It was an early summer hot noon and I was sitting after a hefty meal when I heard one of my friends shouting. His friend was making an apology for a small mistake that he had committed. He was trying to tell him about how it was not intentional and was just a mistake. But, my friend was going on and on shouting about his mistake and saying he should not have made one.

Normally, I don’t interfere when two people are arguing but, this one was going on for quite some time. Seeing the pathetic condition of the other, I jumped in and tried to settle them down. It took quite a while before they settled down.

Later in the evening when I was sipping a cup of tea, I remembered an incident wherein a friend of mine had made a serious mistake that had badly affected me. Although it was a big deal, he had me convinced that it was not intentional and I had forgiven him. It was none other than the same person who was not ready to forgive his friend.

This made me think, Isn’t it in our nature to expect forgiveness when we make mistakes and seek justice when the others do? 

Of course, I am not denying the fact that the gravity of the mistake plays a huge role here. But, when we compare both circumstances of equal gravity, it is evident that we naturally seek justice rather than forgiving when others make mistakes while we expect others to forgive us easily. It is always hard for us to forgive someone.

Why is it so hard to forgive someone?

Forgiveness is not a feeling, it’s a choice. It’s not that you will have to do it only once. Forgiving someone is a process. Forgiveness is different from forgetting, excusing, or condoning.

Forgiveness is defined as ‘the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, and overcomes negative emotions such as resentment and vengeance (however justified it might be)’.

What we have to keep in mind is that to forgive doesn’t mean you forget. It’s not like you forgive someone and miraculously you forget the hurt. Also, when you forgive someone it doesn’t mean you were not hurt or you will forget it. Whatever happened you can still forgive even if you remember. With forgiveness and time, that hurt will fade.

I know, forgiving a person is very hard, especially when you can’t forget what they have done to you. But, we need to forgive not only to give a person another chance but, for the sake of ourselves to heal and move on. Wounds will heal and scars will fade. To forgive is the highest and most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.

Wish you peace in life.

Till next time... Ciao...