THE FORGIVENESS

It was an early summer hot noon and I was sitting after a hefty meal when I heard one of my friends shouting. His friend was making an apology for a small mistake that he had committed. He was trying to tell him about how it was not intentional and was just a mistake. But, my friend was going on and on shouting about his mistake and saying he should not have made one.

Normally, I don’t interfere when two people are arguing but, this one was going on for quite some time. Seeing the pathetic condition of the other, I jumped in and tried to settle them down. It took quite a while before they settled down.

Later in the evening when I was sipping a cup of tea, I remembered an incident wherein a friend of mine had made a serious mistake that had badly affected me. Although it was a big deal, he had me convinced that it was not intentional and I had forgiven him. It was none other than the same person who was not ready to forgive his friend.

This made me think, Isn’t it in our nature to expect forgiveness when we make mistakes and seek justice when the others do? 

Of course, I am not denying the fact that the gravity of the mistake plays a huge role here. But, when we compare both circumstances of equal gravity, it is evident that we naturally seek justice rather than forgiving when others make mistakes while we expect others to forgive us easily. It is always hard for us to forgive someone.

Why is it so hard to forgive someone?

Forgiveness is not a feeling, it’s a choice. It’s not that you will have to do it only once. Forgiving someone is a process. Forgiveness is different from forgetting, excusing, or condoning.

Forgiveness is defined as ‘the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, and overcomes negative emotions such as resentment and vengeance (however justified it might be)’.

What we have to keep in mind is that to forgive doesn’t mean you forget. It’s not like you forgive someone and miraculously you forget the hurt. Also, when you forgive someone it doesn’t mean you were not hurt or you will forget it. Whatever happened you can still forgive even if you remember. With forgiveness and time, that hurt will fade.

I know, forgiving a person is very hard, especially when you can’t forget what they have done to you. But, we need to forgive not only to give a person another chance but, for the sake of ourselves to heal and move on. Wounds will heal and scars will fade. To forgive is the highest and most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.

Wish you peace in life.

Till next time... Ciao...

Comments

  1. nitish kumar ranjanMay 27, 2020 at 10:20 PM

    Nice.. Forgive the people but don't forget.. Careful while dealing with them in future..
    क्षमा शोभती उस भूजंग को जिसके पास गरल हो,
    वो क्या करे जो दन्तहीन,विषहीन विनीत सरल हो।
    Means forgiveness is symbol of powerful personality.

    ReplyDelete
  2. manoj kodachwadMay 28, 2020 at 8:20 PM

    thank you sir. i agree with your opinion.

    ReplyDelete
  3. manoj kodachwadMay 29, 2020 at 3:33 PM

    yes sir, forgiveness is blocked by ego. its the true relationship or friendship that can break the ego. glad to have a friend like you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Shaju A. FrancisJune 1, 2020 at 9:48 AM

    Without forgiveness our species can not probably survive. One of the most important prayers of Christians also recognises this.... Our Father in Heaven ........forgive us our tresspasses as we forgive those who tresspass against us.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Theory of Relativity

Image
Its been a long time since I posted my last blog. So many blogs in "Drafts" but I have been just lazy not to finish them. But every now then I see an inspiration around me that makes want to share it with you all.  It was a late evening in the scorching heat of Delhi in the month of May and I was sitting in the waiting room of Nizamuddin Railway Station waiting for arrival of my train back home. The waiting room was a mini India where people from all parts of the country where waiting to catch their train. Amidst the chaos in the waiting room, walks in a skinny old man in his late 70s carrying a bunch of baggage lock chains and repair tools in his hand with a backpack. His face was wrinkled and body was bent but there was no sign of tiredness on his face. The temperature on that day in Delhi was over 45 degree Celsius and still hadn't cooled down in the evening. Whole Delhi was exhausted from the heat including me, except this old man who had a charm of a young man on his
Read more

Wherever Life Plants You, Bloom With Grace

Image
A few days back I left my office at about 6 o'clock in the evening and I was heading towards the parking. On my way, I noticed a plant called Tacoma with beautiful yellow flowers. I immediately took out my phone and took the above picture. This plant with beautiful flowers was very pleasing to the eyes. This plant was not planted there on purpose. Yet somehow it managed to find enough soil, water, and nutrients to grow itself. What are the odds that it grows up in such a tiny gap between the concrete pavers and a brick wall?  This plant immediately seeded a thought in my mind.  We often complain in our lives about not being in a place we desire or not getting things we wish for. Some even grieve throughout their life failing to realize that the life they had could have been lived better had they focused on different things. You are feeling you are not where you want to be, you are supposed to be somewhere else. Say you could snap your finger and be wherever you wanted to be. I bet
Read more

THE CONSTANT URGE TO IMPRESS OTHERS

A friend of mine bought an expensive SUV last year. At the time, I had asked him whether it was really necessary for him to spend so much on a car that he wouldn’t use that often. For which he said that everybody would be so impressed by his expensive SUV. For a year or so, all his posts on social media were filled up the pictures of the car at different places.   A year later now, when   I asked him about his car, he said that the maintenance and running costs are very expensive and that he is regretting his decision of buying an SUV. It has become a liability in his life. He further said that he should have opted for a smaller car that would have been more suitable to his city lifestyle.   Similarly, another friend of mine bought a flat couple of years ago at an expensive location in Bangalore. Although not big enough for comfort, it was very expensive because of its locality. I had told him that he should buy a bigger home which was just a bit further from the newly bought f
Read more